Temptations

The universe does have a cruel sense of humor. Barely 24 hours after I posted my not-for-the-new-year-specifically resolutions, but they are tested. My workload is more than doubling for the next year--year and a half, which probably means permanently.

But, in the spirit of my resolutions, I am choosing to focus on the positive implications of this, rather than the scary parts: I will be working with all-new people, which will expose me to different processes. I will therefore be more well-rounded of an employee, and if I do well, will impress more people, which will lead to good things down the road. There will probably be some new responsibilities involved in this that I currently don't handle, which could at some point help me segue into a higher position. The fact that I have been added to this new-to-me book team means that my boss has confidence in me and my abilities and thinks I can handle it. (He always thinks highly of what I can handle. I hope he is right.)

Also in the spirit of my resolutions, I started journaling again last night. I'm hoping that by just writing brain-dump entries I can sort them out. Or at least get them off my mind for a while. It does feel a little silly to maintain a blog and a journal, but I don't feel there is the space here to be as honest and forthright as I need to be. And posting everything I think on the internet is a bit too much like my college/livejournal days for comfort.

Resolving, Revolving, Revolting?

I haven't made New Year's resolutions. I haven't even really thought about New Year's resolutions, except sometimes when I saw them referred to on various blogs or Ravelry-threads, and even then it only crossed my mind long enough to read the words. It's not that I don't think they can be a good idea, if properly implemented and followed-through, it's just that I'm lazy. And all the things I would make resolutions about are things that I know are problems, and am trying really hard to get better about, and think (hope, really) that I am getting better about, despite the occasional (usually huge) slip-ups.

Everyone has character flaws, and I don't think mine are really any more glaring than anyone else's are. Obviously, they are forgivable: otherwise, my brother, sisters, cousins and I would never have been born. But I don't like these things about myself. In fact, they tend to infuriate me in other people, which probably means I need to add some degree of hypocrisy to that list of flaws (unless it's mitigated by my acknowledgment that I share these problems, and am trying to work past them?).

So:
I am attempting to let things bother me less. Particularly things/persons I perceive to be stupid, inefficient, or both. This will lessen my overall stress levels because if I don't allow them the become stress in the first place.

I am attempting to complain less. Once something has bothered me, I want to let it go faster, rather than dwell on it. There is a fine line between venting and just being spiteful. I need to learn to actively do something to fix a situation, or shut up and deal with it.

I am still looking for a way to release stress/tension/anxiety better. I need to look harder, because I have not, in all honesty, done much about this.

I am attempting to argue less, at least about the things that don't matter. This. Is. Hard. Help would be appreciated here, preferably BEFORE I've annoyed everyone around me.

That being said, I am attempting to be more perceptive of when I have crossed the line.

I am attempting to be less (negatively) sensitive to criticism. Sometimes, people are just trying to help.

Part of my goal is that by releasing these various negative things from my life, I will have more mental energy for happy things.

ETA: I'm pretty sure this post counts as complaining about myself. FAIL. :D